Sullivan

We don't share continents
Or worlds for that matter
But he gave me something
It pulled myself together

He never did know my name
Or a name like mine
The other day he died
It made me think for a while

I read about it out of nowhere
I was silenced by a phrase
It didn't freeze my blood
But my sight dimmed for a day

Saw his life through a peephole
Felt his energy through sound bites
The other day Sullivan died
It made me think for a while

.

I’ve seen your secrets. I wish I’ve never dug them out.

I’m trying so hard each day not to resort to hate since I can’t bear regretting it later. Yet, I could not muster another feeling for you. I am confused. Should I put on an endearing smile as if everything is alright? Should I keep on looking for the bright side of things and ignore everything that lurks in the shadows? Or should I not think or feel at all and just accept things as they are?

I don’t know. You tell me. You’re supposed to be the one with the plan. It’s just hard to believe that desperation has actually been a part of the plan all along. You’re supposed to be the example for me. It’s just hard to accept that all that I should be is everything that you’re not. You're supposed to be many things that you're not. So, you tell me.

How I wish that you’d tell me. I believe I am man enough to face the truth, no matter how ugly it is and no matter how it contradicts each aspect of what I have been picturing my past, present and future to be. I’m strong enough to overlook told lies and receive the hidden reality. I’ve grown and am ready enough to find that my whole life so far has only been the sweet and colourful icing of a rotten moldy cake. I’m well-prepared to see that my future will not be bathed in shiny sunlight as I have hoped it will be. I’m strong enough to discover that this bullshit is endless.

But I’m too frail to find out from anyone but you yourself.

The Importance of Being Idle

"Lonesome is the only way that I truly feel free"
- MxPx, Lonesome Town.




(I think Twitter is lame but I haven't been inspired to write longer posts for quite some time. Way to go!)

She Would Turn 34 Today

I have so many things to tell you,
So many stories to share,
I wish the door would open and you would walk in smiling,
But you'd never be there.

*Al-fatihah for Allahyarham Riza Marina bt Abd Razak, my dearly beloved and deeply missed sister. It has been 2 years and I miss her so damn much.

Sebulan Aje Lagi

False alarm, it wasn’t the end,
Seems we meet each other again,
Heave relief, it isn’t so bad,
Another year will wait around ahead

Another year is just a blur
Can’t figure out what I’m after
More hours in my hands than I need,
But I’m slowly releasing the grip.

Inertia tosses me
As time accelerates
I’d regain my poise in a minute
Except I never did

These are our good old days
Moments we’ll wish to retrieve
But I’ll finally see it years too late

In our hazy sight, tomorrow waits,
And our footprints left behind will fade.

Record Producer at Work

Gotta hire the best

Maaf Zahir Batin...

...and Selamat Hari Raya, everyone.

Do have fun. Celebrate. Feel glorious. Be grateful.

Unless we don't really deserve it.

-Hisyam

These Are The Good Old Days

First and foremost, Coheed and Cambria was two weeks ago. This blog has been devoid of updates since my laptop is really messed up lately. Anyway, the gig was great, despite a few shortcomings which I have already gotten over (and not worth mentioning). In the previous post, I talked about a guy who I envied for meeting the band at the airport. Well, turned out that I met him at the gig and hung out with him and another die-hard fan throughout those few exhilarating hours. After the show, I approached the tour manager to find out whether we could catch the band on their way away at the airport. Their departure time was very untimely since I got to be in IPBA in the morning but the other two new friends endured the exhaustion and waited for them at KLIA. The result was photos of them with the band having a good time and me being miserable looking at the photos. Haha. So, that was the end of my fanboyism episode.

Anyway, lately I've been thinking about these last few months as a student. Soon, I'll be completely out of my comfort zone into total adulthood. These are the good old days that I'll remember later but I don't know if I'm prepared. I suck horribly at coping with changes and I succumb to misery when life passes by too fast.

Fanboyism (Current Level : Unbearable Excitement)

Disclaimer: This post will be filled with childish remarks. Fanboyism, when not treated, could inevitably cause this. Keep your distance if this kind of thing irks you (as it does to even me).

I was surfing Facebook (using Dzeti's account. I've let her reset my password and keep it as a secret, for reasons not to be revealed). Checked out Coheed's page and there's a picture of a Malay dude welcoming them at KLIA. Dang! Jealousy elevates skyward.

I'm preparing myself for the big night, which turned out to be tomorrow (I thought it would be on Monday till Dzeti reminded me this morning) so I'm maximizing the Coheedistic spirits in me with some rituals such as ironing the band T-shirt (which has been worn a thousand times, as most probably noticed by people around me), sliding the ticket and KillAudio hardcover neatly into my bag, preparing photos to be signed during meet and greet and once this is all done, I'm impatiently waiting for these 18 hours to lapse, all with nothing but Coheed discography in endless loops in the background.

As evident here, fanboyism can also result in run-on sentences. And I'm quite surprised that I managed to type without caps and multiple exclamation marks.

OHMIGOD COHEED'S GIG EEZ TOMORRROOWW!!!!!! OH MAN I CAN BARELY CONTAIN MYSELFF!!!!













Damn! Almost.

Fanboyism Part 2

Some exciting updates from Junk website. Love Me Butch will open for Coheed. Yay, I only get to get glimpses of their energetic performances through Youtube all this while. And another thing, Coheed will hold a meet-and-greet session before the show. Meeting Claudio for the third time! Can't wait for 1st of August.